They Call Him Philthy

I very much enjoy hip hop/rap music. My parents don't understand it. It's not my favorite type of music by far, but there's a certain charm that can only be found in this genre of music. A large portion of the reason that I like rap music is the sheer joy and laughter I get from listening to the lyrics. Let's face it, they're unbelievably hilarious! Half the fun of listening to rap is trying to figure out what the hell they're talking about in the song!

"Word up to your mutha," is an example of a type of lyrical code that exists in rap. Ebonics is the term we're most familiar with when listening to this sort of speech. I'd be willing to bet that a majority of citizens out there listen to rap songs on the radio and have no clue what the heck these clowns are saying. It's actually scary what some of these songs get away with saying simply because they are slightly altered to fit this "code."

I'm overtaken by sadness when learning that so many of you out there might not get the chance to really understand what scholarly rappers like Nelly are trying convey through their lyrics. Therefore, I've set out to translate one of Nelly's hit songs. Most of you have heard it but many of you are probably eager to delve deeper into it's strange lyrical world.

I give you my translated rendition of Nelly's "Ride Wit Me" :



NELLY: "RIDE WIT ME"

In the club on the late night, feelin right
Lookin tryin to spot somethin real nice
Lookin for a little shorty I noticed so that I can take home
(I can take home)
She can be 18 (18) wit an attitude
or 19 kinda snotty actin real rude
But as long as you a thicky thicky thick girl you know that it's on
(Know that it's on)


TRANSLATION:

I'm currently in the entertainment establishment and it's reaching the early morning hours. I'm overcome with spirits and attempting to catch sight of a very attractive female that I would possibly be able to bring to my residence for the night with the intention of engaging in sexual intercourse. It doesn't matter to me what age the young lady is or what her temperment is at this moment; as long as she is a little chubby, especially in the rear area, you can be certain that we will in fact be engaging in sexual intercourse later this evening.



I peep something comin towards me on the dance floor
Sexy and real slow (hey)
Sayin she was peepin and I dig the last video
So when Nelly, can we go; how could I tell her no?
Her measurements were 36-25-34
I like the way you brush your hair
And I like those stylish clothes you wear
I like the way the light hit the ice and glare
And I can see you boo from way over there


TRANSLATION:

As I'm cavorting around to the rhythm of the song I notice a woman approaching me in an extremely enticing and somewhat gradual manner. She mentions that I had caught her attention from across the room and that she enjoyed watching the most recent music video that my associates and I had released. She appears to be very forward in the desire to accompany me back to my quarters and it just didn't seem possible to deny her that wish. She had an absolutely wonderful physique. I told her that I really enjoyed the manner in which she handled her personal hygiene and the extremely trendy and expensive garments she chose to display. I was amazed at how the light was reflecting off of her jewelry, and at that moment I also became aware of the proximity to which her significant other was to the both of us.



Chorus:
If you wanna go and take a ride wit me
wit three women in the fo' with the gold D's
Oh why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money!)

If you wanna go and get high wit me
Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-y
Oh why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money!)


TRANSLATION:

If you'd fancy a lift in my expensive car with several attractive prostitutes... oh dear! Why do I choose to carry myself in this sort of way? You know what, I'd be willing to bet that my motivation probably stems from the money that I will earn if I in fact convince others around me that this is my wild and luxurious lifestyle. If you'd like to travel with me and experience the euphoria of consuming cannabis, one way possibly being to inhale the marijuana in the rear seating of my Mercedes Benz... oh dear! Why do I choose to carry myself in this sort of way? You know what, I'd be willing to bet that my motivation probably stems from the money that I will earn if I in fact convince others around me that this is my wild and luxurious lifestyle.



Check, check -- yo, I know somethin you don't know
And I got somethin to tell ya
You won't believe how many people, straight doubted the flow
Folks said that I was a failure
But now the same motherfuckers askin me fo' dough
And I'm yellin, "I can't help ya"
"But Nelly can we get tickets to the next show?"
Hell no (what's witchu?!) you for real?!


TRANSLATION:

Don't forget to perform mantenience on this microphone so that we can prevent a future failure -- Excuse me, I am privy to certain facts that you may not be aware of and I'm prepared to speak to you directly in a formal manner. You honestly won't be able to comprehend the numbers of people who were of the opinion that I was not going to succeed as a rapper. They would often speak publicly about the fact that I was going to fail. Now, however, those same individuals whom I do not hold in a positive light are requesting help from me, in the form of currency. I tell those people that I'm simply not able to give them the aid that they are asking for. Their next step is to inquire about complimentary tickets to one of my upcoming rap concerts. I answer by telling them that it most likely will not occur. They wonder if there's something wrong with me and even at times they are under the impression that I may be simply joking.



Hey yo, now that I'm a fly guy, and I fly high
Niggaz wanna know why, why I fly by
But yo it's all good, Range Rover all wood
Do me like you should - fuck me good, suck me good
We be them stud niggaz, wishin you was niggaz


TRANSLATION:

Hello, I'd be gratefull if you'd give me your full attention. These days I'm an exceptionally charming man and someone who is constantly abreast of the current social trends. I also experience life to the fullest with my wealth and overall attitude. Because of this change in my personality and lifestyle, African Americans would like to know the reason that I have left their economic bracket and physical geographic locations. Excuse me, everything is fine. My Range Rover is of the extremely expensive variety as it was fastened from all wood. Treat me sexually in the way that I deserve to be treated - engage in sexual intercourse to the fullest of your potential, also perform oral sex to the best of your abilities. We are the group of African Americans who are very successfull and attractive. Because of this, you often aspire to become someone much like us.



Chorus:
If you wanna go and take a ride wit me
wit three women in the fo' with the gold D's
Oh why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money!)

If you wanna go and get high wit me
Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-y
Oh why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money!)


TRANSLATION:

If you'd fancy a lift in my expensive car with several attractive prostitutes... oh dear! Why do I choose to carry myself in this sort of way? You know what, I'd be willing to bet that my motivation probably stems from the money that I will earn if I in fact convince others around me that this is my wild and luxurious lifestyle. If you'd like to travel with me and experience the euphoria of consuming cannabis, one way possibly being to inhale the marijuana in the rear seating of my Mercedes Benz... oh dear! Why do I choose to carry myself in this sort of way? You know what, I'd be willing to bet that my motivation probably stems from the money that I will earn if I in fact convince others around me that this is my wild and luxurious lifestyle.